Cheater's Candy aka Christmas Crack

A friend of mine posted this recipe on Facebook and I was intrigued. So I made some and (unfortunately) we like it a lot. It’s called Christmas Crack because of the crackers, which is kind of dumb. But I can’t think of a better name unless I call it Cheater’s Candy. Which is also ridiculous but it's what I'm going with anyway.

Ingredients:
1 C butter
¾ C dark brown sugar
A full sleeve of saltine crackers
16 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
Optional toppings:
Pretzels, broken into pieces
Heath bar, broken into pieces
Peanuts

Directions

• Preheat the oven to 400°.
• Line a large shallow cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray well with something like Pam.
• Put the saltines in a single layer on the cookie sheet, covering the entire sheet – if you need to fill in any gaps, use broken crackers.
• Meanwhile, in a saucepan, melt the butter over low heat.
• Next add the brown sugar and turn up the heat to medium; stir constantly with a flat wooden spoon until the butter no longer floats on the top of the brown sugar (it should begin to come to a boil).
• Cook for about five minutes, stirring constantly, until the toffee begins to pull away from the sides of the pan.
• Carefully pour the toffee over the saltines and, if necessary, use the flat wooden spoon to spread the toffee around gently until all crackers are covered. You may need to rearrange your saltines if they get moved – just use a fork.
• Bake for about five minutes and remove from the oven
• Let cool for about three or four minutes and then sprinkle the chocolate chips on the toffee-covered crackers. Put the pan back in the oven for a minute or so, so that the chips are more melted.
• Remove from the oven again and carefully spread the melting chips over all the crackers. 
• Sprinkle with the crushed pretzels, Heath bars and whatever else you want to use.
• Let cool completely before breaking into pieces.

Victorian Tea Pastry

When I was growing up, my mother made Swedish tea rings for Christmas breakfast. This was quite an undertaking since it needed to rise twice and then be rolled into the ring shape with all the requisite fillings. I liked it a lot but it was a ton of work. Then in my 20s, my mother found this recipe. It’s much easier, has all the same bang for your buck in terms of taste and presentation and best of all, you don’t need to start this recipe the day before.

When my kids were little, they tended to switch up the consonants on words, so this was called the Pee Tasty. To be honest, we still call it that today.

Topping:

½ C water
½ stick butter
½ C flour
2 eggs
½ t almond extract

Bottom:

½ C flour
½ stick butter, softened
1 T water

Icing:

1 T butter, softened
½ C powdered sugar
1 ½ t milk
¼ t almond extract
1/8 toasted, sliced almonds

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350°F

Top: Bring the water and butter to a boil, Remove from heat and immediately stir in the flour with a wooden spoon. Beat till smooth. Set aside while you make the bottom of the pastry.

Bottom: In a bowl, combine the flour and butter and blend well. Add the water and mix with a wooden spoon until the dough tends to form a ball. Place on a cookie sheet and flatten until it’s about ½ inch thick (dough shouldn’t reach the edges of the baking sheet).

Top: Now add the eggs one at a time to the still-warm mixture in the pan. Beat well after adding each egg until the mixture is smooth. Add the almond extract and mix well. Spread the mixture over the dough on the baking sheet coming to within ¼ inch of the edges. Bake for about an hour (don’t open the oven). Cool about 10 minutes before frosting.

Icing: Blend the butter, powdered sugar, milk and almond extract until smooth. Spread over the warm pastry and sprinkle with the toasted, sliced almonds.

This version is cut in half from my mother’s version. If you want to make the full recipe, increase the eggs to three, not four. Otherwise double everything else.